A quick note: You're is a combination of the words 'you' and 'are', while your is a posessive. If you're uncertain which one you want to use in any phrase, try seeing if you are would feel awkward in its place. Ry-Tram used your several times instead of you're. I noticed that this is something you did in January Jane, too.

"Don't follow me, that means your still reading!"
You are would fit in place of that your, so you'd want it to be, "that means *you're still reading."

"Your still reading!"
*"You're still reading!"


Now onto actual critique! I think you did a really great job on Ry-Tram's facial expressions. I also think that you definitely achieved your goal of making the reader feel something for Ry-Tram at the end.

The first two panels of violence (you're not going to believe that I'm saying this, after our discussions on gore) I actually don't think are violent enough. The splurting of blood is almost comical, so you don't really start to feel bad for Ry-Tram until that third panel of him being wounded, and trying to piece himself back together. (Which, by the way, I /love/ the text on that panel. It does a great job of wrenching at you and making you feel badly for having brought this on Ry-Tram.)

His poses during those two initial panels are also somewhat static. I would suggest exaggerating the lines of his body more to show the force of the monster's claw hitting him. Er. A feeble attempt to explain what I mean by that: If someone hits you in the chest, it's like the center of your body is going to shift towards the point of impact. That part of your chest is going to be forced backwards, leaving the rest of your body to follow a few seconds later. The benefit we have as artists is to exaggerate that, and make it more obvious. Since Ry-Tram was being punctured from behind, I think his body would have bowed backwards a bit more into a ( shape. The panel right nxt to that, he has his hands on his head. I would have expected him to have been clutching at his abdomen, or falling to the ground, since he was just hit with some devastating power.


These are not books that I have purchased, so I'm unable to recommend them, but using the "search inside" feature ought to help explain what I meant by impact/reaction forces. The second one is especially clear in describing it.

[link] [link]

I'm not sure, if it were me, if I would have had Ry-Tram turning around to notice the monster. (Though that is an incredibly epic panel. VERY nice job on the angle and pose.) I think I might have tried to have the shadowy figure appear when Ry-Tram begins to laugh, and then be larger in the next one down, as you have it. After the monster completely materialized, having Ry-Tram still being sliced, but staring at the viewer in surprise might have helped add to the feeling that we've betrayed him. I'm not positive that it would have, just throwing out an alternate idea.

"It wont go back in," is the strongest image in this entire scene. All in all, you did a fantastic job, Mike. The character is lovable, and I adore how he interacts with us. I really wouldn't change anything about how he is relating to the reader. Good job. I look forward to your next comic.