Last night I was on this site, enjoying the art looking at all the great pieces of work and trying out some of the styles and practices. Well I stayed up to late I suppose, I awoke early and started practing drawing, drawing as I usually do when I wake up with a few anatomy studies. However, I dosed off, I was completely late for class... My Painting class... I get there, the results of the class vote of the best portfolios came in... Out of 7 students I came in dead last... So this has brought me to this conclusion...

Im not drawing and practicing hard enough. I thought the minimum 5 to 6 or so hours I set aside every day to just practice would be enough. But apparently not, I need to work harder and this site is only in my way. I can't afford myself the luxury of enjoying others work on this site anymore... I don't deserve it. I have to stick to the old masters now and painters long dead. I had fun on this site and that's something that just has to go. I'll never be the best stuck here, I'll never accomplish anything here. I have to be the best, no one hires people who are just okay anymore, there are just far too many of us artist for that to happen. So I have to be better than everyone. As of now, all of DA is in direct way of me becoming better. So much great art that just comes naturally to everyone. I'll be better, BETTER than all of them and everyone. I'll draw harder than ever now, I will be better, I'll show everyone.

I'm not returning to DeviantArt till I'm better, no, till I'm the best there ever was and ever will be... So as of now, TV's gone, video games gone, new DVDs and movies gone... All that matters now is becoming the best, to draw better to be better than my competition. It's not like anyone cares about all this right... Not like any of this matters right. All that matters is the destination and the hard work it takes to get there.

after I post this journal, I'm going into the change password section and type in and copy and paste a bunch of random letters and numbers. This way, I won't even attempt to try and log in again. I won't be back till I'm the best. Cause when I die, they'll find my cold dead corpse over my drawing table. Ill be the best Yuoull all see...

Thank you guys for everything up to this point. I wish you all the best of luck, and if any of you are still here WHEN I return. thank you all DA
Goodnight and God bless